Same Shit, Different State

7 Feb

It’s amazing how fast we fall into a boring, mundane routine and fall into our same old behavior patterns.  I’m living proof that uprooting your life and moving 1300 miles away does not really change your life.  I am still encountering the same issues that I had back in Michigan now that the excitement has worn off.

I am terrible at managing my money, still can’t find a good man (this issue is particularly troubling because there are like 10 dudes to 1 chick here), I come home from work and I’m so spent that I do absolutely nothing with my life past 5 pm.  That is of course, if I do not have to work my second job.  But mostly my life consists of watching the Food Network and the Travel Channel.  Oh, and The Walking Dead and American Horror Story.  I’m obsessed.  I wonder if they have any support groups here for that…. something to ponder.

Anyway, my point or rather the epiphany was that if you want to drastically change your life, you need to change your behavior and thought patterns.  I want to manage money better.  Well then, I need to do my due diligence and change the way I think about money.  If I want to be thin, I have to change the way I consume and think about food and exercise   I realize that it is not rocket science but I guess I thought on some level I was living differently when I moved out west.

Granted, I was literally living different; in an 18′ camper.  I was also really living outside of my comfort zone by only working as a bartender 25 hours a week.  I actually really liked that life and I made damn good money.  Now, I work the 9-5 at a job that pays so damn well I can feel the metaphorical golden handcuffs tighten with each passing day.  Do I love my job, no.  I love the opportunity that it creates, sure.  And the paychecks, but the actual job?  Not so much.

But at what point do I actually sell out on my dream?   I mean, are the benefits and pay worth it?  I feel that same stigma and dogma that I felt last spring.  But then again, in order to get the life you want, you have to make some sacrifices.   I guess finding out that balance is my challenge.   I just don’t want to wake up in ten years and be doing the same old shit, different state.


2 Responses to “Same Shit, Different State”

  1. Melissa February 8, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    First, Ashley, we do kind of know each other, but you probably don’t remember me. I met you through Mindy at The Mane Event.

    OK, lady . . . FOCUS! Wasn’t your reason in heading west to pay off your debt? Then, yes, for right now the benefits and pay ARE worth it, because that big paycheck is the tool that will allow you to meet your goal. Yeah, you may not be thrilled with the job, but it’s a means to an end, not the end in itself. Considering the tens of thousands of people in the mid-20s to mid-30s age bracket who are also dragging around a load of debt with no way to make a dent in it unless they pare their living down to the absolute bare bones, you’re ahead of the game! I wouldn’t worry about the long run right now. Keep it in mind, but try to make peace with the idea that the immediate goal is shedding the debt and establishing some financial stability. (And, I do have the perspective to talk about “long run,” as I’m teetering between the mid- and late 50s.)

    Not managing the money well does need to be addressed. At least you realize it’s a problem! So many people have no idea how to handle their funds, but they don’t know that, so they keep making the same mistakes and wonder why the credit cards are loaded up, why they have no savings, why the bills are overdue. There are a lot of online resources that explain budgeting, saving, debt reduction, etc. If you want, I could ask some of our financial advisors to see if there are any sites they think are especially helpful (and sound).

    Hang in there, Ashley. Remember why you’re there, and keep moving towards that goal!


    P.S. How’s the Edge working out? I had one–went through the snow without a hitch

  2. Laurel March 4, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    Ashley you’re so special and so beautiful. Keep up the good work with having a good attitude and good thoughts! Here is some scripture that can help change your thinking And change your life- I believe in the way that you want and need the most!!!

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